Today is the day full of hope and optimism of the year.
That’s great!
Regardless of the goals or resolutions you have set for yourself, I am happy for you!
We’re all trying to improve ourselves, and even though things haven’t gone the way we wanted in the past, we have hope this time it will be different.
Musician Nick Cave describes hope as “optimism with a broken heart,” and I think that’s very true. We all try to be different when change is so damn hard.
If you’re trying to pick up a new exercise habit or change the number on the scale this year, I salute you. Setting the goal of change is highly commendable.
But in order to give ourselves the best chance of achieving our goal, we need to combine the goal with some self-reflection and self-awareness.
Here are TWO questions you must ask yourself at the beginning of 2025.
Question 1: What is different this time?
I’m proud of you for starting again.
But what is different about this attempt?
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always had.
The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.
If you choose the same goal or strategy you’ve tried (unsuccessfully) in the past, the end result will be the same: another wasted year of “why can’t I get my act together?”
So think about what’s different this time!
Don’t just “go on XYZ diet” or “give up all your sugar forever” or “train for a marathon” again, especially if you’ve tried those things before and couldn’t stick with them.
This time something must be different:
- Make fewer changes.
- Pick ONE goal and focus on it.
- Choose a different exercise routine.
- Choose a different diet or diet change.
- Choose a different time of day to exercise.
- Get a friend to join you so you don’t have to do it alone.
- Create your new desired behavior useful or necessary.
Prove to yourself that you have learned something from your past attempts. Don’t let past failures be in vain – they showed you what’s wrong for you.
Try something different this time!
Question 2: What are you afraid of?
You’re full of momentum right now and that’s great.
But in three weeks life will happen and something will go wrong.
What was your tendency when this happened in the past?
We ask everyone NF Coaching client before they start: “What are you most nervous about?”
That answer is something they are aware of as a result of their past attempts:
Will you get busy and decide to “take a break until things slow down?” super! Now you know when that little voice in your head says this, you can prepare for it, plan to do something different and decide not to do it have listen to that voice in your head.
Will you have one bad day and go off the rails? super! Now you know that when you have a bad day, you can forgive yourself, not look back in anger or guilt, and get back on track.
Will you give up even though you really really want to push through? super! It happens to all of us when motivation fades after a few weeks. Consider adding the pact of Ulysses to protect yourself from your weaknesses or to make a bet with a friend to be responsible.
NF coach Matt Myers was recently on The Mental Golf Podcast with Josh Nichols – and at 24:30 into the episode, Matt showed Josh something that surprised him:
“You told me before you started, ‘I know I’m going to be HARD out the door, but in about 3 weeks I’m going to burn out and be gone.’
And I said, ‘Thanks for letting me know,’ and I had all these alarms and alerts ready to call you multiple times around the 21st!”
Josh was aware enough to know where he was going to screw up in the future, he and Coach Matt planned for it and got over the hump together.
Since then they’ve been working together for two months (and counting) and Josh has only missed one day of check-in and missing a day hasn’t caused Josh’s normal all or nothing behavior to kick in!
This time COULD be different
We all started to change, and even when we are aware of it…
We often bite off more than we can chew:
Our goals and hopes often outweigh the reality that we are fallible, busy, complicated people living unpredictable lives.
that’s fine!
If we are aware of these things, if we can try differently…even if this following attempt also does not work, we can remove that strategy from the list of potential success paths and try again.
That’s what life is all about anyway: try, fail, adapt, restart.
-Steve
P.S: If you don’t want to go on this trip alone, I would be honored if you could opt out NF Coaching Program.
Our coaches are awesome and we’d love to help you achieve your goals. We’ve had a TON of submissions these past few days, which makes me so happy to be helping so many new people.
