Sixty-year-old Chinese grandmother Su Min had no intention of becoming a feminist icon.
She was just trying to escape her abusive husband when she hit the road in 2020 in her white Volkswagen hatchback with a tent on the roof and her pension.
“I felt like I could finally catch my breath,” she says, recalling the moment she drove away from her old life. “I felt I could survive and find the lifestyle I wanted.”
Over the next four years and 180,000 miles, the video diaries she shared of her adventures while chronicling decades of pain earned her millions of online cheerleaders. She was called the “tripper aunt” because she inadvertently turned herself into a hero for women who felt trapped in their own lives.
Her story is now a hit film released in September – Like a Rolling Stone – and she has made the BBC’s list of 100 inspirational and influential women in 2024.
It was a year of great moments, but if she had to describe the year 2024 in one word, she says that word would be “freedom”.
As soon as Su Min started driving, she felt freer, she told the BBC by phone from Shenyang – just before heading south for the winter in her new station wagon SUV.
But it wasn’t until 2024, when she finally filed for divorce, that she experienced “another kind of freedom.”
It took a while to get there: it’s a complicated process in China and her husband refused to divorce her until she agreed to pay him. They settled for 160,000 yuan ($21,900; £17,400), but she is still waiting for the divorce certificate to arrive.
But she is determined not to look back: “I’m saying goodbye to him.”
The road to freedom
In her new life on the road, Su Min has a duty to herself.
Her videos mostly feature only her. Although she drives alone, she never seems lonely. She chats with her followers as she records her journey, sharing what she cooked, how she spent the previous day and where she’s going next.
Her audience travels with her to places they never imagined they would long for – the snow-capped mountains of Xinjiang, the ancient river towns of Yunnan, the sparkling blue lakes, the vast grasslands, the endless deserts.
They applaud her courage and envy her the freedom she has embraced. Rarely have they heard such a raw first-hand account of the reality of life as the “Chinese aunt”.
“You are so brave! You chose to break free,” one follower wrote, while another urged her to “live the rest of her life well for herself!”. One woman sought advice because she, too, “dreams of driving alone,” and the amazed follower said, “Mom, look at her! When I’m old, I’ll live a colorful life like hers if I don’t get married!”
For some, the conclusions are more pragmatic but inspiring: “After watching your videos, I learned this: As women, we must own our own home, cultivate friendships far and wide, work hard to be financially independent, and invest in unemployment insurance!”
Through it all, Su Min processes his own past. A stray cat she meets on the road reminds her of herself, both of them have “suffered wind and rain for years, but still manage to love this world that makes our faces dirty”. A visit to the market, which smells of chili peppers, awakens the “smell of freedom” because during the entire marriage spicy food was forbidden to her by her husband, who did not like it.
For years, Su Min was a dutiful daughter, wife and mother – even though her husband was constantly beating her.
“I was a traditional woman and I wanted to stay married for the rest of my life,” she says. “But in the end I realized that I got nothing in return for all my energy and effort – only beatings, violence, emotional abuse and gaslighting.”
Her husband, Du Zhoucheng, admitted to hitting her. “It’s my fault I beat you,” he said in a video she recently shared on Douyin, TikTok’s Chinese platform.
A high school graduate, he worked for the government for 40 years in the ministry of water resources before retiring, according to local media reports. In 2022, he told a newspaper that he beat his wife because she “retaliated” and that it was “an ordinary thing”: “How can there be no explosions and collisions in the family?”
When duty called
Su Min married Du Zhoucheng “really to escape her father’s control and to escape the whole family”.
She was born and raised in Tibet until 1982, when her family moved to Henan, a bustling province in the valley along the Yellow River. She had just finished high school and got a job at a fertilizer factory, where most of her colleagues, including those under 20, already had husbands.
Her marriage was arranged by a matchmaker, which was common at the time. She spent a large part of her life cooking and taking care of her father and three younger brothers. “I wanted to change my life,” she says.
The couple met only twice before the wedding. She wasn’t looking for love, but she hoped that love would grow when they got married.
Su Min has not found love. But she had a daughter, and that’s one of the reasons why she convinced herself that she had to endure the abuse.
“We’re always so afraid that we’ll be laughed at and blamed if we get divorced, so we all decide to hang on, but really, this kind of hanging on is not okay,” she says. “Later I found out that it can actually have quite an impact on children. The child really doesn’t want you to suffer, they want you to stand up bravely and give them a harmonious home.”
She thought of leaving her husband after her daughter got married, but she soon became a grandmother. Her daughter had twins – and duty called again. She felt she needed help with them, even though she had been diagnosed with depression by now.
“I felt that if I didn’t go I would get sicker,” she says. She promised her daughter that she would look after the two boys until they started kindergarten, and then she would leave.
The spark of inspiration for her escape came in 2019 while scrolling through social media. She found a video of someone traveling while living in their van. This is it, she thought to herself. This was her way out.
Not even the pandemic stopped her. In September 2020, she drove from her marital home to Zhengzhou and barely looked back as she passed through 20 Chinese provinces and more than 400 cities.
It’s a decision that must have resonated with women in China. To his millions of followers, Su Min offers comfort and hope. “We women are not just someone’s wives or mothers… We live for ourselves!” one follower wrote.
Many of them are mothers who share their own struggles. They tell her they too feel trapped in stifling marriages – some say her stories have inspired them to get out of abusive relationships.
“You are a hero for thousands of women and many now see the possibility of a better life because of you,” reads one of the top comments on one of her most viewed videos.
“When I turn 60, I hope to be as free as you,” said another comment.
The third woman asks, “Aunt Su, can I travel with you? I will cover all the expenses. I just want to go on the trip with you. I feel so trapped and depressed in my current life.”
“Love yourself”
“Can you have the life of your dreams?” Su Min thought about the invitation. “I want to tell you that no matter how old you are, as long as you try, you will surely find your answer. Like me, even though I am now 60 years old, I found what I was looking for.”
She admits that it was not easy and that she had to live modestly since her pension. She thought video blogs might help raise some money – she had no idea they would go viral.
She talks about what she’s learned over the years and her latest challenge – finalizing her divorce.
“I haven’t received a divorce certificate yet, because the law has a cooling-off period and we are now in that period.”
One of her followers wrote that the money she paid her husband was “worth every penny”, adding: “Now it’s your turn to see the world and live a vibrant, unfettered life. Congratulations auntie – here’s to a colorful and fulfilling future!”
He says it is difficult to get a divorce because “many of our laws in China protect the family. Women often do not dare to divorce because of family discord.”
At first, she thought Du Zhoucheng’s behavior might improve with time and distance, but she said he still threw “pots and pans” at her upon his return.
He has only called her twice in the past few years – once because her motorway access card was linked to his credit card and he wanted her to pay him back 81 yuan (£0.90). Since then, she says, she has not used that card.
Undeterred by the postponement of the divorce, Su Min continues to plan new trips and hopes to travel abroad one day.
She is worried about overcoming language barriers, but she is confident that her story will resonate all over the world – as is the case in China.
“Although women in every country are different, I would like to say that no matter what environment you are in, you must be good to yourself. Learn to love yourself, because only when you love yourself can the world be full of sunshine.”
Additional reporting by Fan Wang from Singapore
