There is ‘an epidemic of demoralization’, says a specialist of happiness – how to fight that
“I’m overwhelmed.”
“I’m just one person. I can’t do anything.”
“I want to give up.”
As a happiness researcher Who spent a decade by studying the science of well -being, I received hundreds of messages like these. I see the same feeling expressed, over and over – but never with the name attached.
I want to tell you his name: demoralization. While one word cannot change everything, it can trigger us.
When we can’t describe our emotions – when they feel wild, forbidden and incomprehensible – it can bring Intensive experience of shame and desire to isolate yourself. Marking our feelings helps us regulate our emotional response, connect with our communities and cure.
Demoralization is characterized by two basic experiences:
- Helplessness: “I can’t handle what’s going on in my life.”
- Hopelessness: “There is no point in trying, because nothing will change.”
The two are deeply connected, enhancing each other until you finish in a state of existential despair and isolation. Usually goes like this:
- Something challenging happens.
- You try to solve it, but you can’t. Exceeds your current confrontation skills.
- You feel shame and slowly lose your confidence.
- It is difficult for you to ask for help because we live in a culture that tells people that they need to solve problems themselves.
- You feel like there is no way you will ever be able to solve this problem.
- You experience a crisis of meaning. You come to believe that there is no hope for a better future. You could give up too.
- In the end, you are unrelated to others, which prevents treatment.
Stephanie Harrison out of new happiness
‘An epidemic of demoralization’
Although he was mostly studied in people who are facing personal Challenges, such as severe or terminal illnessI believe we are experiencing an epidemic of demoralization today social Challenges.
From the climate crisis to economic instability, we face problems that feel great and impossible to solve. At any moment, they can hit us personally, just as they did for thousands of people who remained homeless because of the Los Angeles fire. Or tens of thousands federal workers who have been discharged No warning, loss their work, purposeand the ability to provide your families.
The conditions were ripe for this epidemic. As I describe in detail in my bookWe live in a world that is a priority and elevated by capitalist, individualistic values, separating us from our relationships and encouraging selfishness as a path to personal happiness.
2 ways we can “restrain”
Demoralization causes us to withdraw, further and beyond what we need the most: each other. Instead, we have to:
1. Connect with people and lean against them
Demoralization spirals can be stopped if someone appears to help you handle. It can be a therapist, a colleague, a friend or a family member – anyone who says, “This looks hard. Can I help you understand how to deal with it?”
You need other people to bounce ideas, to sit with you when you are confused, to encourage you and cheer you up and to pick you up when you fall.
Stephanie Harrison out of new happiness
People often tell me they have no community. I fully understand; This is a natural consequence Old happy culture – What teaches us that we are not good enough, that we have to compete, that we should always succeed and achieve (in socially acceptable ways) and that we cannot rely on anyone but ourselves.
You can start simply by gathering several friends or associates along with the intention of appearing to each other.
2. Take action and offer help
Demoralization is self-perpetuira: you feel helpless, so you do not act, which makes you feel helpless, which makes it harder to act.
When you feel helpless, it is a sign to help more. This is what breaks the cycle and shows you that you really have a huge power to change someone’s day for the better.
Start with little: Smile someone, give them a compliment or send them a funny video. Any act of help may affect another person and testify that it eventually helps your.
Then take it to the next level. Think about the question you care about, as:
- Poverty
- Mental health
- LGBTQ+ RIGHTS
- Democracy
- Racism
- Exploitation of workers
- Education
- Health care
Type in the search engine:
[Issue] + [my town/city/country] + Organization
This should focus you on organizations that made the hard work of defining a mission, setting up a structure, Construction of relationshipsand access to resources. They need hands – your hands.
Send them this e -Apost:
Hi, I’m [Name]!! I live in [Town] and I am passionate about resolving/complicating for [issue]. I’d like to give my [time, skills, and/or money] Your organization that will help you achieve your goals. Is there a way to get involved?
Then show up.
Remoralizing ourselves is a skill we learn by appearing when it is difficult, we celebrate ourselves when we work and build systems that support hope. Under the right conditions, dealing with challenges leads to self -confidence, growth and meaning.
Society of much demoralized people cannot make a happier world. But the world of people who are dedicated to removal of each other, every day, already make it.
Stephanie Harrison is the founder New happyAn organization that progresses a new philosophy of happiness. She is an expert on happiness, speaker, designer and author of the book “New happy:: Getting happiness in a world that misunderstood. “Follow her further Instagram,, Tictok and LinkedIn.
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