It was late at night on December 10, 1987.
He remembers a vague drive to the morgue at the hospital, where he was asked to identify the bodies of his pregnant girl, relatives and colleagues against Apartheid.
In response, he dropped to one knee, lifted his fist into the air and tried to yell “Amendra!” (“Power” in Zulu), in the act of defiance.
But the word caught in the throat while “totally broken”, Mr. Dyasi says BBC, remembering the scenes of his loved ones under cold, bright lights.
For four decades, Mr. Dyasi sleeps with the lights to eliminate the memories of the physical and mental torture he suffered during his four years in prison.
He says he struggled to build a life for himself in a society he fought as an underground operative for Umkhonto We Sizwe, an armed wing-then the African National Congress (ANC) was forbidden.
Anc has been fighting against the racist system of Apartheid, which ended in 1994 with the rise of the party to power in the first multi-landscape elections in South Africa.
The Truth and Reconciliation Commission (Trc), which was suffered by the internationally famous priest of Archbishop Desmond Tutu, was founded to discover the crimes committed by Apartheid regime, and was founded by the State Fund for the help of some victims.
But much of that money has largely become messy.
Mr. Dyasi was among about 17,000 people who received a one-off payment of 30,000 RAND (at that time $ 3,900; £ 2,400) in 2003, but says that it did very little to help him.
He wanted to finish university education, but still did not pay the courses he attended in 1997.
Now in his 60s, he suffers from chronic health problems and is hard to afford medicines about a special pension he received for the veterans who participated in the fight for freedom and democracy.
Professor Tshepo Madlingosis – A member of the Human Rights Commission of South Africa who spoke with the BBC in his personal capacity – says that the effects of Apartheid still be pernicious.
“It was not just about killing people, the disappearance of people, but about locking people in intergenerational impoverishment.”
He says that despite the progress achieved in the last 30 years, many “born generation” – South Africans born after 1994 – inherited the cycle.
The Delay Fund has about $ 110 million intact, without clarity why this is the case.
“What is the money used for? Is the money still there?” Professor Madlingosis commented.
The government did not respond to the BBC request for comment.
Lawyer Howard Varney has spent most of his career presenting the victims of the Apartheid crime and says that the story of compensation in South Africa is one of the “deep betrayals” for the affected families.
He currently represents a group of families and surviving victims who sue the Government of South Africa for $ 1.9 million because of what they say is his failure to resolve the cases of political crimes that have highlighted the now demolished market for further investigations and persecution.
Brian Mphahhlele was decent and quiet; He would pause before he answered the question, as if he was waiting for his mind to be scored in his head.
He suffered from memory loss, only one aspect of the permanent influence of physical and psychological torture that he went through in the infamous Polloor Cape Town prison.
Mr Mkhahhlele told the BBC that 30,000 Rand of Payment, which he received due to the violation he withdrawn over 10 years in prison, was an insult.
“It went through my fingers. There was so little fingers, there were so few,” the 68-year-old said last year by phone from his nephew’s house in Lang in Cape Town, where he lived.
He felt that a significant payment would allow him to buy his own home and described his frustration in his life in Lango, where he ate three times a week in the kitchen with soup.
Since he spoke with the BBC, Mr. Mphahlele died, his hopes in a more comfortable life unfulfilled.
Prof. Madlingosis says South Africa has become a “child of poster” of racial reconciliation after the end of Apartheid and in many ways inspired the world.
“But we have inadvertently given the wrong message, which is that the crime against humanity can be committed without consequences,” he says.
Although he feels that things can still turn.
“South Africa has the opportunity for 30 years in a democracy to show that you can go wrong and repair those mistakes.”
Mr. Dyasi still remembers a sense of freedom and optimism he felt when he left prison in 1990 after the last white ruler of southern Africa fw de Klerk drove Anc and other liberation movements, on the path that the icon against Apartheid Nelson Mandela became the first black president four years later.
But Mr. Dyasi says he does not feel proud of who he is today, and his disappointment is felt by many who fought with him and their families.
“We don’t want to be millionaires,” he says. “But if the government could only look at the health of these people, if they could keep an eye on their lives, to involve them in the economic system of the country.”
“There were children who were orphaned by fighting. Some kids wanted to go to school, but still can’t. Some people are homeless.
“And some people would say, ‘You were in prison, you were shot. But what is that you can show for it? “
