I studied over 200 children. 5 characters you raised “very spoiled” – and how can parents undo it
When we imagine spoiled children, many of us think about jerks because they don’t get what they want, we have to follow the rules or deal with any inconvenience.
But spoiled behavior is not just in a relationship right Or the parents who surrender – these are dissatisfied emotional needs, inconsistent limits and lack of relationship.
As a Aware of the parent researcher And a coach, I studied over 200 children and found that spoiled behavior can sometimes indicate dissatisfied needs. Here are five characters of very spoiled children – and how parents can try to undo such behavior:
1. Fight with hearing ‘no’
The child can be discouraged against the rules not because they are difficult, but because vague boundaries feel confusing and frustrating. If the rules feel unpredictable – or if the child feels powerless in the decisions that affect them – they may act to recover the sense of control.
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Council for parents: Instead of just saying “no” and move on, admit their feelings: “I see you are upset because you want to continue playing, but now it’s time for the bed.” The boundaries set by kindness teach that the rules are not in control – they are about trust and security.
2. They are constantly looking for attention
When children require constant attention, it often signals emotionally non -discomfort or insecurity in their place in the family. A child who does not feel safe in his taxpayer may seek more: more time, more validity, more belief.
For example, a child who always interrupts or holds a parent in social environments is not necessarily needed, but is not sure of their significance when the focus is not on them.
Council for parents: Settle 10 to 20 minutes of untouched connection daily. The more time, the better. Play, talk or just be present with your child. Use these moments tell them, “You’re enough.”
When children feel emotionally safe, their need for constant validation fades.
3. They have anguish to get what they want
Putes are not manipulation – they are for help. Children are usually overwhelmed in the way of disease and have no skills to process great emotions.
This often happens because the child feels out of the time when their emotions are rejected, powerless when they have no say, or too much too much noise, activity or change.
Council for parents: Stay calm, confirm their feelings (“I see you are really frustrated”) and you offer comfort (“I’m here with you until you feel better”). Children learn emotional regulation through a relationship, not control.
4. They resist responsibility
A child who refuses to clean, avoid homework or easily give up, is not difficult or lazy. Instead, they may be too often protected from the challenge or, on the other hand, they pushed into independence before they felt ready.
Council for parents: Offer associate responsibilities that correspond to the age. Cook together or solve small problems as a team. Remember to celebrate their efforts, not just results. When children feel capable and supported, responsibility comes naturally.
5. They lack gratitude
When a child seems ungrateful about frustrated because he doesn’t get what they want, this is often not right. This may mean that they feel unheard of, unrelated or powerless.
And when children get permanent toys, heals or rewards instead of emotional connection, it implies their ability to appreciate what is truly important.
Council for parents: Thanksgiving grows from the relationship. Include your child in meaningful moments, such as helping in cooking a meal, making a card, or sharing little joy as a family. When children feel that they belong, contribute and prices, followed.
I always remind my parents to avoid the excessive reward of their children. For example, if they help clean the house, instead of giving them money or a sweet treat, you might say, “Thank you for helping. That means a lot to me, and I have fun doing it together.”
The goal is to make these moments meaningful, not something they do for a reward.
Satisfying your child’s emotional needs
What we call spoiled behavior is not about material excess – but about emotional needs. A true relationship is not just in spending time together; It’s about your child feels visited, respected and deeply loved.
When parents move from control behavior to nurturing connection, frustrating moments become strong opportunities to build trust, security and lifelong emotional resistance.
Reem raound is a leading voice of conscious parenting, a certified coach and a creator Bake -The Revolutionary Journal of the Parents and Child Connection is intended for nurturing emotional intelligence, self-value and lifelong trust. She is widely recognized for her work in children’s emotional safety and strengthening the parent-child relationship. Follow her further Instagram.
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