A woman desperate for wedding advice already knows the answer: ‘Something’s not right’
Posting her story on social media for others to see and comment, the woman said she had been with her fiance for five years and the couple had been engaged for four months – but with the wedding is upon us in the coming months, she is not sure what to do.
“So far I’ve been mostly excited,” she wrote on Reddit. “But there’s a pit in my stomach that I’m trying to ignore. Something’s just not right.”
She told others, “Any advice is welcome, especially if you’ve had similar feelings.”
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She said that “for the last two years it seems like I’ve fallen out of love. The man I was crazy about — I look at him and feel so much resentment. I still love him, but I don’t like him.”
She learned, she added, that “his mother absolutely hates me too — I know I would have married him, not his mother, but I feel that knowledge as my breaking point.”
“I am so hurt, ashamed and lonely,” said the bride-to-be. (iStock)
She called his family “horrible people” and said she “doesn’t want to be involved anymore, and neither do any potential children we may have.”
her own family membersmeanwhile, she shared, “they’ve been so kind and welcoming to him. They absolutely adore him, while any effort I’ve made to be a part of his family has been completely shut down. I’m so hurt, embarrassed, and alone.”
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The economics of the event are troubling, she said.
“I am horrified by the shame and the reaction of the family.”
“At this point we paid $800 for non-refundable hotel room$1,600 deposit for our place and, if we cancel, [we] would charge another $2,000,” said the woman using the name “ImaginaryKick5478.”
She said that the rest of the expenses were “covered by the family”.
She continued, “I know people will say that calling off a wedding is cheaper than getting a divorce, but I really don’t have $4,500 to cover sunk costs.”
“I feel like I’m on autopilot,” the bride-to-be wrote on Reddit, “and time is running out before I crash.” (iStock)
The woman said that “most importantly, she is terrified by the shame and reaction of the family. Especially my dad love your partner and he thinks everything is fine and he wouldn’t stand by me if we broke up.”
She said there was no one “who would be a support system in my life, and that reason alone is almost entirely why I went through with the wedding. I feel like I’m on autopilot, and time is running out before I crash.”
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She said she was suffering “real panic attacks” because of the idea of ”going through a difficult breakup while the family is so involved and will likely keep bringing him and our failed engagement down.”
“Leaving” a relationship, she said, “is much easier said than done.”
The woman added: “I’ve told my fiance all these feelings directly and he thinks I’m just being dramatic and upset and that my feelings are going to fail. I wish he knew that I fell out of love. More importantly, I wish I could still love him like I did before.”
“I would rather be in an unhappy marriage,” the woman wrote on social networks, than have some things happen to her. (iStock)
She continued: “I feel like being with him was the biggest mistake of my life and I just wish I could take it all back.”
Still, “leaving” a relationship, she said, “is a lot easier said than done.”
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She wrote: “I would be broke financially and I would destroy my relationship with my immediate family and I would rather be in an unhappy marriage than have those two things happen.”
“Is there anything else I can do or is this just going to get worse?”
She ended her post by saying, “I’m trying to keep this relationship going and do everything I can to avoid a breakup, but I know time is running out. Couples therapy? Weekend away? Is there anything else I can do or will this only get worse?”
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About 1,200 people have responded to the drama so far. Commenters on Reddit were open and direct with the original poster, with some suggesting that the woman already knew the answer to her dilemma.
“I see no other option but to cancel the wedding,” one person wrote.
“What is never acceptable is lying and cheating on someone – especially a loved one,” said the psychologist. (iStock)
Another said: “Stop being a people pleaser and make yourself happy.”
Said another, in part, “I think if you have to ask, you know the answer deep down.”
Someone else wrote in detail: “The price you will pay to get out of your current circumstances will be far, far cheaper than the price you will pay later accompanied by children (coming from a divorced father of five).”
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Another person said, “Sister, you know what’s up.”
A clinical psychologist recently told Fox News Digital, in response to a different but similar wedding drama, “What is never acceptable is lying and cheating on someone — especially a loved one.”
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The psychologist said she would “encourage” a struggling partner “to talk privately with every family member involved, starting with the one you’re closest to” — and try to let others know what’s going on so the problem can be resolved.
