Marriage is one of the most rewarding more Challenging trips in life. Although we often enter it with high expectations, the reality is that marriage is a lifelong learning process.
As a psychologist Who studies couples every day, I worked with many people who realized only the hardest lessons after experiencing a conflict, disappointment or even divorce.
If you can now accept these five difficult truths about marriage, you are more likely to have a happy and successful relationship:
1. Love alone is not enough to keep the marriage together.
Many couples believe that as long as they love each other, everything else will fall into place. But love automatically does not solve differences in communication styles, personal values or long -term goals.
What really maintains marriage is commitment, effort and willingness to adjust. Love can help maintain spark, but these are a daily choice that really brings a difference.
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How do you react to conflict? How do you appear for each other? How do you continue to grow together? These are questions that determine how strong your marriage is.
2. You fight … a lot.
One of the biggest misconceptions about marriage is that truly compatible people do not claim. But not only is the conflict inevitable, it is also necessary. In fact, the absence of a conflict probably means that important questions break under the rug.
And is not a struggle that damages relationships – this is how Couples decide to manage their disagreements. Healthy conflict can bring partners closer to the opening of the door deep, meaningful conversations about desires and needs, which can then lead to solving problems.
My advice is to learn how to fight fairly. There are no criminal games, without stone and no personal attacks. Create a safe space where you can be honest and open without judgment.
3. Your partner will not – and cannot – meet all your needs.
Many people get married, thinking that their spouse will be their “everything”-a year’s best friend, an emotional support system, a cheerleader and solving problems. Although it is natural to rely on each other for support, the expectation that one person will fulfill all your needs unrealistic.
Healthy spouses recognize the importance of individuality. This means maintaining individual interests, friendships and goals. Him a strong sense of himself outside the marriage helps to prevent resentment and prevents the relationship from feeling suffocating.
Always keep in mind that an advanced connection is built on two complete, complementary individuals – not two halves trying to complete each other.
4. Without constant maintenance, your marriage will fall apart.
Many couples underestimate how much work is needed for a healthy marriage.
The honeymoon phase can be felt effortlessly, but over time of life responsibility – work, children, finances, health – often the relationship lower on the priority list.
You need to have regular applications and plan a quality time together. As you would not expect the car to ride forever without maintenance, you cannot expect the marriage to succeed without consistent worry.
5. You will both change individually.
You cannot expect the person you are getting married to at the age of 25 at the age of 45. People develop, changeable priorities and life circumstances change.
By accepting changes instead of resisting, you will understand the beauty and privilege of being able to witness this evolution.
The most successful couples are those who adapt and grow together. While partners are separating, they find new reasons to keep each other daily. This means being open to new experiences and give each other space to develop without feeling threatened.
Mark TraversDoctorate, a psychologist is specializing in relationships. He graduated from Cornell University and Colorado Boulder University. He is a guiding psychologist at Waking therapyTelehesa company providing online psychotherapy, counseling and training. Also curator is a popular website for mental health and wellness, Therapytips.org.
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