‘Staying Alive Was Lucky’: Joy and Despair as Gaza Ceasefire Approaches | News about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict
Deir el-Balah, Gaza and Beirut, Lebanon – In the Gaza Strip, many Palestinians are celebrating, hoping that the devastating 15-month war is finally over.
Israel and Hamas have agreed to a ceasefire proposal, according to Qatar and the United States, that would include a prisoner-for-prisoner exchange and the return of Palestinians to their homes across Gaza. Israel says several problems remain, while Hamas has announced acceptance.
In Gaza, joy for Palestinians comes tempered by sadness, as they have lived through the deaths of so many loved ones in an Israeli war that human rights groups and United Nations experts have described as “genocide.”
Several Palestinians told Al Jazeera they plan to return to their towns and villages as soon as they get the chance, after being displaced by Israeli attacks and so-called “evacuation orders”.
“As soon as there is a ceasefire, I will go back and kiss my country in Beit Hanoon in northern Gaza,” said Umm Mohamed, a 66-year-old woman who lost two of her 10 children when an Israeli bomb hit her home in December 2023. .
“What I realized in this war is that your home, your country and your children are all you have,” she told Al Jazeera.
Israel’s war against Gaza is killed more than 46,500 Palestinians and wounded more than 100,000. It began after a Hamas-led attack on southern Israel on October 7, 2023, in which 1,139 people were killed and around 250 captured.
During Israel’s offensive in Gaza, it systematically bombed schools, hospitals and displacement camps, destroying almost all basic services and life-sustaining structures, according to UN experts and human rights groups.
In September 2024, this was discovered by the United Nations Satellite Center 66 percent of all buildings in the Gaza Strip were damaged or destroyed in Israeli attacks.
Israel also intensified the existing siege of Gaza at the start of the war, causing mass starvation and disruption of public order.
Now that the end of the misery seems tantalizingly close, Palestinians are struggling to process everything—and everyone—they lost in the war.
“I have mixed feelings… but I pray to God that we can return to normal lives without feeling insecure,” Mohamed Abu Rai, a 47-year-old doctor, said from his office in Deir el-Balah.
Memory and sadness
Palestinians have been thinking about the loved ones they lost to Israeli attacks ahead of the now-expected cease-fire.
Lubna Rayyes, who was the principal of the American International Elementary School in Gaza City, said she lost one of her colleagues, Bilal Abu Saaman, who was rescuing people from the rubble when it was bombed.
Rayyes said she often calls Abu Saaman’s widow and asks about his young children.
“He was a great and very kind teacher. When he died, it hit me hard and it still hurts,” Rayyes told Al Jazeera by phone from Cairo, Egypt, where she has been living with her husband and three children since last year.
“Bilal was really one of the best people in the world,” she added.
Rayyes also spoke about her family home, which was burned to ashes by Israeli soldiers.
“There’s nothing left of the house,” she said, sighing. “There are no more family photos or any memories [we retrieved]. Everything is gone.”
Abu Rai also lost his house, but like Rayyes, he said he is most saddened by the memory of his deceased colleagues and friends.
He believes the actual death toll far exceeds the official tally and still can’t quite figure out how he survived the past 15 months.
“Staying alive in Gaza was always just a matter of luck,” he said.
Stay or go?
While many Palestinians look forward to returning and rebuilding their communities, others cannot imagine staying in the besieged enclave any longer.
Mahmoud Saada, 52, said he did not believe there would be a permanent solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict despite the expected ceasefire.
He says he will take his young children and leave Gaza as soon as the crossing to Egypt opens.
“I swear to God that I will not return to Gaza. I’m so tired and full,” he said from Deir el-Balah, where he sleeps with his family in a small overcrowded tent.
“I want to leave Gaza and go anywhere else,” he told Al Jazeera.
Abu Rai also said that he cannot imagine staying in Gaza now that everything has been completely destroyed.
He believes most survivors are deeply traumatized and simply cannot imagine rebuilding their communities and lives, especially since Gaza has already struggled to recover from numerous previous wars with Israel.
At this point, he suspects many people are trying to find a way out, at least for now.
“There was so much destruction and we are starting from scratch again. Constantly rebuilding our communities steals so much time from our lives. Every day we lose, we don’t get back,” he told Al Jazeera.
However, Abu Rai, Rayyes and Umm Mohamed agree that Palestinians will miss Gaza if they leave, making the move difficult for many.
In the end, they believe most people will stay or return to Gaza if they can.
“We have to come back eventually, you know?” Rayyes told Al Jazeera.
“There really is no place like home.”
