Mom blogger Ruby Franke asked her daughter to keep quiet before her arrest: a memoir

Shari Franke, eldest daughter disgraced Utah parenting blogger Ruby Franke, in her new memoir, she shares the disturbing details of her mother’s demise, including their last conversation together.

Ruby, a mother of six and creator of the once-successful YouTube channel 8 Passengers, and her friend Jodi Hildebrandt, a mother of two, ran the joint together YouTube channel about parenting and lifestyle called ConneXions Classrooms. In February, both were convicted of six counts of second-degree aggravated child abuse against two of Ruby’s children.

In her memoir, “My Mother’s House,” officially released on Tuesday, 21-year-old Shari recalls the last conversation she had with her mother shortly before her arrest. At that time, rumors began to circulate about the abuse of her mother social mediaand Shari took to Instagram to speak publicly about the online debates about her family life.

“I know there are many rumors circulating on the internet about my family. While it is true that I am not in contact with my immediate family and do not support the extreme beliefs of ConneXions, please remember that this is my real family,” Shari wrote in part on her Instagram story.

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Ruby and Shari had a brief and contentious interaction before Ruby was arrested. Ruby saw Shari’s Instagram story and asked her, “Can you promise not to talk about this on social media again?”

“No,” Shari replied—the last word she spoke to Ruby before her arrest, as she recalls in her memoir.

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For years, Ruby was obsessed with maintaining the perfect family image online as part of her YouTube channel 8 Passengers, which generated most of the family’s income. Her videos shared an intimate look into her family’s life and had more than 2.5 million subscribers before her downfall.

However, her popularity began to wane after her eldest son nonchalantly admitted in one of the videos she posted on her account that he slept on a bean bag for seven months as punishment for his behavior.

“That one video burned down the 8 Passengers YouTube channel overnight and cost our family 90 percent of our income.”

— Shari Franke, “My Mother’s House”

“Hundreds of thousands unsubscribed, and brands, once eager to be associated with our wholesome family image, couldn’t distance themselves fast enough,” Shari wrote in the book.

Hildebrandt came into Ruby’s life after 8 passengers fell, and the two friends decided to create their own parenting channel together called ConneXions Classrooms.

In one episode of ConneXions Classroom, Ruby tells her viewers, “If your child comes to you fired up, don’t pat them on the head and say, ‘It’s okay, I’ll help you.’ No, you beat them, kick them and hit them with a rod. You can’t put sores on your child’s legs and then lovingly put gauze on them and expect them to heal,” the memoir says.

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Hildebrandt soon became the focal point of the Franke family’s life, even moving in with the family of eight after Shari left for college and Ruby offered Hildebrandt her daughter’s room. Shari described Hildebrandt and her inner circle as a “cult.”

Shari describes the bizarre relationship that quickly developed between the two women in her book, recalling how Hildebrandt encouraged Ruby and her husband Kevin to distance themselves from each other as Hildebrandt eventually convinced Ruby to share a bed—her daughter’s bed—while Kevin slept alone in the master bedroom.

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Hildebrandt would suffer from delusions and visions while staying with the Frankes, and Ruby and Kevin would help her through them, according to Shari’s memoir.

“Jodi and Ruby sat in their sanctuary upstairs, rarely leaving except for the occasional ice cream pilgrimage to Dairy Queen.”

— Shari Franke, “My Mother’s House”

“Their eating habits were a cardiologist’s nightmare—a steady stream of sugar, saturated fat, and fried foods, liberally garnished with Jodi’s only contribution to our household: gallons of ranch dressing,” Shari wrote.

Ruby and Franke also went shopping in Mexico and would come home with bags of pills that Ruby claimed were a plan to “stock up on antibiotics for the end of the day,” the book says.

Ruby’s followers were further enraged when she posted a video of punishing her two youngest children for what she described as selfish behavior by withholding presents from them on Christmas morning, while her older siblings were allowed to open presents. She and Hildebrandt, who was present in the Christmas charade, then made the two youngest clean up the torn wrapping paper.

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“As they wordlessly collected the scraps, Jodi began her sermon, her face bright with smugness. ‘Children are not entitled to a magical childhood,’ she cooed, each word laced with poisonous sweetness. ‘You can’t just expect love and gifts. Many have nothing at all,’ Shari recalled.

Shari described coming home from college for the holidays that year and remembering her brother’s greeting at the front door: “Hey sister. Welcome to hell.”

Utah authorities eventually arrested Ruby and Hildebrandt for abusing Franke’s two youngest children, a 9-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy, after Shari’s years-long efforts to get the Department of Family and Children Services to take action against her mother. Some of the abuse took place at Hildebrandt’s multi-million dollar home in Ivins, Utah.

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The allegations against Franke and Hildebrandt only came to light after Franke’s son fled the Hildebrandts’ Ivin home and ran to a neighbor, who called 911 after seeing the malnourished boy with duct tape on his wrists and ankles.

Franke and Hildebrandt were sentenced to four consecutive sentences between a maximum of 60 and a minimum of 30 years in prison.

While prosecutors described the physical abuse of Ruby’s youngest children by Ruby and Hildebrandt, much of Shari’s memoir focuses on her mother’s intense psychological abuse stemming from Hildebrandt’s extreme online teachings and apocalyptic religious views. Ruby and Hildebrandt subjected Ruby’s children to Hildebrandt’s expensive and terrifying “therapy” and mercilessly overanalyzed Shara’s every statement, whether spoken out loud or sent to any woman.

Ruby Franke spoke publicly for the first time at her sentencing last year.

“For the past four years, I have decided to follow advice and guidance that led me to a dark delusion,” a tearful Franke said in a statement at the time. “My distorted version of reality was mostly unchecked because I would isolate myself from anyone who challenged me. I was led to believe that this world was an evil place, full of controlling police officers, injuring hospitals, brainwashing government agencies, lying church leaders and lust, husbands who refuse to protect, children who need abuse.”

“To my babies, my six little chickens, you are a part of me,” she continued. “I was the mama duck who kept waddling you to safety. … For the last four years, I kept putting you in danger.”

“I was so disoriented that I believed it was dark light and right was wrong.”

— Ruby Frank

Shari remembers hearing her mother’s court testimony in her memoir and the thoughts running through her mind, saying that Ruby “not once” “admitted to being anything less than a mother in the years before Jodi” entered their lives. families.

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“There would be no excuse for the years of torture and exploitation that preceded Jodi,” Shari wrote. “Listening to her hollow words, I wondered if, in her narcissistic mind, Ruby would ever fully grasp the gravity of her actions or experience genuine remorse.”

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In dozens of YouTube videos and social media posts, Franke and Hildebrandt taught parents how to raise their children in “the truth” in a calm voice from their living room couch. In a video released shortly before their arrest, Hildebrandt said pain can be a good thing for children of a certain age.

The case has sparked debates about how parenting and lifestyle blogs often represent only a fraction of a person’s or family’s reality, as well as children’s rights to their own privacy if their parent is a social media star.