I’m a big fan of Stephen King.
I read the entire Dark Tower series, It, The Shining, Doctor Sleep, and my favorite movie ever was based on his novella, Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption.
And so, at the urging of several friends who told me that it was their favorite book, I finally did started reading 22.11.63.
Here is the premise that delights:
On November 22, 1963, three shots rang out in Dallas, President Kennedy died and the world changed.
What if you could return it?
Stephen King’s heart-stopping dramatic new novel about a man who travels back in time to prevent the assassination of JFK – a thousand-page tour de force.
Like any good geek, I devoted too much of my brain to hypothetical time travel, the butterfly effect, and changing the past. I bet you do too.
Time travel is such a tempting idea because our brains can’t help but think about the “road less traveled” and “what if I had done X instead of Y?”
Which brings me to today’s newsletter topic.
Accepting that some roads are closed is incredibly liberating.
Some roads are closed
My friend Tim Urban here at WaitButWhy.com bring up this chart about the life choices we’ve made to date and the branching paths that open up for us tomorrow:
It’s really easy for our brains to hyper-focus on all the black lines in our past: the paths that were closed to us, the decisions we didn’t make, the decisions we did make, and how our life often seems “determined” now.
“Because of the way I’ve done this in the past, things just stand.”
“Too bad I never did XYZ, it’s too late now. I’m so sorry!”
“I don’t deserve to be happy because of this mistake I made”
We often forget that the only way to connect the dots of our lives is by looking back, in which we made every decision with the best information we had at that moment.
(If you’re looking for a good read, Matt Haig’s Midnight Library is a fictional story that encourages thinking about alternative life paths and acceptance. Haig draws from the past the decision to almost take his own life.)
So let’s talk a little about those black lines and green possibilities.
Maybe some roads are closed!
I bring up all these things to make two points.
Author Chris Guillbeau, who heavily inspired my love of travel and influenced how I built Nerd Fitness, recently published an essay on celebrating closed doors.
We’ve all heard stories of people starting certain careers later in life.
An example would be, “It’s never too late! Samuel L. Jackson got his revolutionary role in “Pulp Fiction” only at the age of 46.”
And Chris points out that sometimes… it’s too late:
While these stories are inspiring, the lesson of “it’s not too late” is not universal. Sometimes IT IS TOO LATE! To believe otherwise is to believe in fantasy.
Some things in life have real deadlines – not all, but some.
In other words, sometimes we often hold on to something that we know we will eventually do “someday”, and perhaps refuse to accept the reality that… yes, it IS too late.
Maybe we still hope to run a marathon eventually…even though we hate running.
Maybe we still hope to write that cookbook…even though we don’t really like cooking anymore.
Perhaps we can decide that several roads are closed to us. We can accept that.
The future is not set in stone either
A few weeks ago I wrote about how The past is not set in stonebecause our perception of the story changes.
It’s okay to accept that maybe the dream we had when we were in our 20s is okay to die.
However, it is equally tragic to assume that it is “too late” for any changes in our future, and that it is already determined.
Betrand Russel once said, “You don’t have to be what you were five minutes ago.”
As Chris says:
“It’s not too late” for many things, and that’s great. But sometimes it is, and that’s okay.
It’s not too late to learn something new. It’s not too late to try new things.
But it might be too late for certain tracks, and that’s totally fine.
In fact, it’s worth celebrating.
Letting go of certain paths or accepting that some paths are closed to us can free up space to make a different decision for life moving forward.
You can decide later today to:
- start powerlifting
- take an online course for a new career.
- try a new hobby.
- talk to your doctor about help with weight loss.
We can’t travel back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination.
Some of life’s paths are now closed to us.
That might be fine!
Instead of spending more brains lamenting our closed black trails, we can start working on deciding which greenway to take next.
-Steve
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